When Designers Troll Us: Orthopedic Couture

 
 

What a time to be alive. We’ve never had it so good when it comes to Extreme Comfortgear. The days of aching ankles after a full day in Chucks, crispy Stan Smiths or a fresh new Jordan colorway are over. We now exist in the golden era of $800. orthopedic footwear your grandpa lusts for, much like the pee-colored Yeezys. Of course we blame Steph Curry for this.

In line with today’s competitive race to achieve maximum Ugly Fashion, Alexander McQueen has delivered a Sports Creeper for you agile SportsGoths, replete with a stilt sole.

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We’ve endured a lot of challenging winter fashion this season already, but these McQueens seem more like a dare than something you can actually rock with confidence. Also, LeBron instantly dragged them so they’re already washed.

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And while we are here, let’s address how everyone designing footwear has lost their mind this year. Exhibit A: the $2000 Dsquared sneaker heels deserve an honorable mention for fuckshit footwear.

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Michael Molloy