When Designers Troll Us: Orthopedic Couture


What a time to be alive. We’ve never had it so good when it comes to Extreme Comfortgear. The days of aching ankles after a full day in Chucks, crispy Stan Smiths or a fresh new Jordan colorway are over. We now exist in the golden era of $800. orthopedic footwear your grandpa lusts for, much like the pee-colored Yeezys. Of course we blame Steph Curry for this.

In line with today’s competitive race to achieve maximum Ugly Fashion, Alexander McQueen has delivered a Sports Creeper for you agile SportsGoths, replete with a stilt sole.


We’ve endured a lot of challenging winter fashion this season already, but these McQueens seem more like a dare than something you can actually rock with confidence. Also, LeBron instantly dragged them so they’re already washed.


And while we are here, let’s address how everyone designing footwear has lost their mind this year. Exhibit A: the $2000 Dsquared sneaker heels deserve an honorable mention for fuckshit footwear.

Michael Molloy