I went to LA with my special person for a weekend getaway. He lives far away and well, long story short, its not special anymore. We stayed in a little boutique hotel that used to be Lillian Gish's house. It was very Beverly Hills and very Chinoisiere. If you're visiting LA for work and need a cute stay, may I suggest Maison 140. Did you peek? Isn't it the cutest?
When we weren't eating delicious food at delicious restaurants and taco trucks, going to the beach, visiting museums, or doing neat-o LA stuff, we hung out with Aska and Crystal. First stop Kibbitz room on a Friday night. Not so mellow. We opted for Rite Aid instead.
Time to play dress up!
Spike and Rick punched Crystal in the eye for being a stupid bitch
This is an abbreviated version of this field trip. There was bellowing laughter and tear-inducing hilarity going on. It was a wild and wacky night!
Somehow Spike setting his two friends aflame over and over again became the new fun thing to do. I was nervous nells, but due to the power of peer pressure I just fake laughed, held onto Jeremiah's hand, and said nobigdeal to myself about a million times. I kept looking at Aska to see if she would quell the human sacrifice that had endues, but she was too busy screaming "get him! get him!" to catch my vibes. This went on for about 20 minutes. Keep in mind that everyone's wearing scary clown makeup and peeing all over Fairfax Ave.
See!? Aska peed all over my foot while I was covering her squat. Theenks!
The next night was Sunny's birthday
Face painting tip #1: If you're a guy go CUTE. Chicks love that stuff.
Tip #2: Abortion scenes are great ice breakers
I have a mancrush on Alex. Gay gay gay gay
Its impossible for your party to suck of you have Rock Band
Especially if the game is hooked up to the entire property's sound system
Maybe it was just really really loud, but it felt like we were at the Rosebowl (not)
Shit was getting crucial
My dude took this on the way out out of the party. He was really bored and dying to leave. Of course ten minutes after we left I started getting texts that said things like "Get back here! Kanye Fucking West! Kanye!" and "Did you leave? Come back dumbass Kanye West just got here!" but of course we couldn't drive back into the hills after all those goodbyes. There were only about 25 people there so it would've been super queer. We went to a crappy movie instead. We missed figgin KANYE figgin WEST. FIG!
kanyewest.
Sorry, that was the last one.
Next day was Malibu
Doesn't it look like I have two tushies under there? This is a HORRID picture but its so funny I had to post it. Can you imagine if this was my real gargantuan booty? Would you still be friends with me?
Motivational Poster: PERSEVERANCE
HOPE
FORTITUDE
Lobster on a hot dog bun? You seafood wizards you!
That night I organized a birthday party for Aska at my all time favorite bar in Los Angeles: M BAR
Curtis aka Cute-is. Curty is a very special person. A kind, sweet soul.
Bday girl, Reza, Ike. Reza's down with Other People's Pets!
Aska wrote a song for all her friends
He's playing a saw! It was lovely.
Aska has tons of friends but I didn't feel like taking lots of pictures.
It was a very nice party.
I love Aska and Crystal and we had a great weekend. I would've posted much more about my days than my nights, but you guys don't want to see kissy face pictures and tourist attractions. I mean really, who cares? Coming up: work, book tour, other shit.
I just got back from a whirlwind trip to promote my book on the West Coast. All that stuff is coming up. I've only been back two days and I'm playing catch up. When I'm not at work during the day, I'm doing this:
If you're in the Bay Area and you read this blog regularly you should come and stop by BOOK PASSAGE to say hello and introduce yourself to me. I'm a fan of my readers!
I'm going to be doing a book signing/talking about my book NO REGRETS at the cute bookstore in the Ferry Building and I'd love to sign your boobs/back/book.
There's a quick drink situation afterwards, then I'm going to see America's favorite new boy band The Virgins at the Fillmore afterwards. If you're going lemme know and we shall roll together.
Merkles von Erkles loves the book!
The Arab Parrot loves the book!
Sarah Yormick loves the book!
Stay tuned for many more of the lovely MODELS of NO REGRETS!!!
My heart is pounding and I think I'm experiencing that weird affliction that hippies and moms get. You know, the thing that makes you not be mean to your boyfriend and prompts you to look old people in the eye and give them a "hope you don't die soon" look? My best friend told me its called happiness. I feel like I got a face lift and my boobs got bigger for no reason. I feel like I'm the judge of the Brainy Babes of Oxford Annual P---y Eating Competition. Whatever it is its really neato and I hope it doesn't go away too soon.
Anyhow, I'm so grateful to everyone who has been coming out of the woodwork and showing me so much love! The recent fan mail, the strangers who want to make sweet love to me even though I don't know them. I had no idea! Thank you. To my regular readers, sorry I've been absent lately. I miss telling you guys stories, but Veevers is super extra busy these days and would rather sleep than be on the computer.
I have tons of juicy stories all saved up, and I'll do it all when I have a moment for us. I miss you baby. Sweet, honey nectar I want to caress you slowly. But only if you shave your legs/beard/vagina first.
Thanks dudes. This is really fun. There are many good things in store.
kissy faces etc Veevs
ps- those good things do not include pictures of me hanging out with Neckface. Sorry I'm not very cool. I am, however, every parent's dream. Will that do?
I'm West Coast mini-touring it folks! Please come to my book signing if you are in LA. I'll be posting pics of both events this week. I love you guysth!
