Merry Christmas! Here Is A 5-Part Guide to Avoiding Your Family

Christmas is the day we spend with our families, best friends, the person who gives us the most tingles, or complete strangers who can offer some comfort (usually in a bar or soup kitchen, depending on how you roll). This is a day when we prioritize how much we want to give give give or greedy it up by the tree waiting to rip open pretty boxes we barely deserve. But mostly Christmas is the day when we watch Clark Griswold lose his sh*t on Randy Quaid in Christmas Vacation, the greatest holiday movie of all time.

Depending on how much crazy you have in your family, the holidays can be exhausting. If you are home this holiday and need a break, here are 5 tips on how to avoid your family as much as possible with the best of what Christmas has to offer:

1. Watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

2. Listen to Holiday Road Over And Over And Over Again

Lindsay Buckingham is a bonafide f-r-e-a-k

Christmas is also the day we listen to Holiday Road and wish our lives were just some 80's movie so we don't have to DILL WITH IT.


3. Watch A Christmas Story At Least Once

It's the Yule Log of holiday movies. Always there to comfort you.

And of course, no matter what sex, age, religion, or race you may be, we can all relate to Ralphie, the protagonist in A Christmas Story. Enjoy TBS' annual 24-hour looping of this killer classic.


4. Learn "The Story of Festivus"


For those of us who don't celebrate Christ's birthday-slash-Walmart's Annual Running of the Hicks, there is FESTIVUS. For the rest of us.


5. Join your new Internet Mom on her Christmas Tree adventure in Long Island.


Personally, I like to bask in the beauty of one of my besties, John Roberts, playing his mother in The Christmas Tree. Here's John kissing everyone by the tree at Chrissie Miller's holiday party. If you aren't one of the 2.8 million Youtube viewers who have witnessed this piece of hilarity, please make sure to click the "play" button. It's the best thing on the Internet... and I'm including CATS.




I'll be relaxing with my family infront of the Yule log sipping mulled wine and reading The Autobiography of Mark Twain (stocking stuffer). It feels so good to be home. Let's all bask in the light of the Yule Log and remember how nice it is to be with the folks we respect and love the most. Also, free food. Tons of free food!


Merry Christmas guys


xx

Stumblin

DIED 350 TIMES. Love you Paul Rudd. Husband me.

Somewhere

I interviewed Debi Mazar, Juliette Lewis, Erin Wasson, Sofia Coppola and Elle Fanning at the premiere of Somewhere, if y'all are interested in any of THOSE AMAZING PEOPLE. I edit a teen pop culture site so it's edited for that audience. Tomorrow is the press junket at the Four Seasons and that's when I get to ask more hard-hitting questions like "Can you reflect on the current state of the Southern Thailand insurgencies?" and "Kierkergaard. Discuss."

And you should've seen who was actually attending the premiere. It was basically the roster from V, Interview, and Tokion in one giant human parade of creative fucking genius.

 Chris was the only funny character in the movie

 heh- lady behind us was NOT happy

love Erin

Works been fun lately, albeit looong hours. I got to see TRON in 3-D IMAX at the Disney screening room, went to Somewhere (obvs), and today there was literally a debate between a private Henry Rollins speaking engagement and a Jim Davis signing (Jim won, sorry Henry. It's GARFIELD).

But I have to admit- I'm such a workaholic I barely have a social life anymore and it's starting to bug me. I just can't stop though- I'm always on overdrive. Do you guys have this problem? HALP!

Aviva

The Vice Guide to Everything

Vice Magazine, once considered the hipster bible, has evolved from a free monthly rag run out of Williamsburg, Brooklyn (via Montreal), into a global marketing machine that now has a record label, an advertising company, a pub in East London, a successful online channel and of course, the magazine itself. 

When I worked there, there were only four women employed at the company. It was an absolute boys club, something which has changed significantly since the brand has grown. Now-famed photographers Terry Richardson and Ryan McGinley were just getting their start, the entire cast of Jackass was obsessed with Gavin McInnes, the co-founder of Vice and creator of the Do's and Don'ts, which was (and still is) the most popular feature in the magazine.

Back then, the issues were snagged from record stores and select boutiques and cafes deemed "cool" enough to rep the magazine within hours of the first day of release. On shipping day when the new issues would arrive, college kids from Sweden to Japan would stand waiting outside the Vice stores just to get a copy.

Vice's first fashion show was held in a parking lot filled with dirtbags, models, skaters, graffiti artists, musicians and local legends. The following year when I took over as Fashion Director (which just means I ran the stores and helped with photo shoots and fashion-related press), we showcased up-and-coming designers at the Ukrainian National Hall in the East Village. I even spent a week in Harlem getting heckled by the kids at the 3rd Street Boxing Gym at their 3am battles so I could cast some of the original stars of Paris is Burning and their teenage proteges from The Houses of Ninja and Givenchy as the models. The dancers "Vogued" their way down the runway, in typical ballroom battle-style.

There was no press and no cheeseball wannabes that Fashion Week usually attracts there, but the celebrity roster was thick. People were standing on their seats, clapping and screaming as the dancers twisted and contorted down the middle of the Hall. Yours truly presented trophies to the legendary Willi Ninja (RIP) himself. It was an experience I'll never have again, for which I'm very grateful.

I can't write about Vice without interjecting my own experience there, as they were not only some of the most fun and inspiring years of my life, I feel grateful to Gavin (co-founder and funniest person alive) and all of my former co-workers for the experience. It opened an incredible amount of doors for me and the Editors Jesse Pearson, Amy Kellner and Thomas Morton are all brilliant. 

my favorite video of Gavin cursing the American Moustache Institute

When Gavin left the site, there was spectacle about whether or not the brand would dwindle along with the humor and voice that McInnes brought to the brand. Since his departure, the brand has expanded into a global empire, selling magazines in over 24 countries. 

Today the magazine has been injected with a lot more fashion, higher end advertisers, and has moved beyond just stories about sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll into more documentarian content - telling stories about people all over the world, from all age brackets and economic backgrounds. They broke the story about Garbage Island and Toxic Greenpoint, and are now reporting stories for CNN. 

I went to the screening of their 3-part series on North Korea which was not only fascinating but extremely well-produced, and have been following VBS.tv (Vice Broadcasting System) ever since. I'm particularly obsessed with Motherboard, Dell's tech show. The interviews they did with my personal hero Raymond Kurzweil was one of the most compelling docu-series I've ever seen. 

Last night I watched The Vice Guide To Everything, which premiered on MTV. It was hard to get through the crass attitude and constant name-dropping of Spike Jonze by host (and co-founder of Vice) Shane Smith, but I have to say I'm proud of where he has taken his entity. The Vice Guide lacks the sensitivity of most documentary series, but despite the "look at how bad-ass I am" attitude, the stories and subject matter are excellent. 

I wouldn't be surprised if the charming host Thomas Morton, Vice's resident nerd, starts receiving Facebook requests from teenage girls. 

The pilot episode features Spike Jonze (Creative Director of VBS). The coverage is fast, thrilling, sketchy, brave, and has an element of 70's style guerilla reporting from dangerous places with the locals, yet lacks the clinical element of traditional newscasting. If you can get around the "cool guy" and flippant attitudes of the hosts, the show tells stories we've never seen before in an extremely relatable way. It feels very "For Us By Us," which is extremely refreshing.

Here is a poignant review of the show in the New York Times.

From the press release:

When Vice magazine first started, all we cared about was sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll. But as we started traveling around the world, we got more into politics, culture, fashion, art, the environment. Basically, everything. And this is that -- The Vice Guide To Everything. It's our new MTV show about the absurdity of the modern condition: the most interesting people, news, sub-cultures and rituals on the planet.

The Vice Guide To Everything is on Mondays at 11P/10C on MTV

Did you see the show last night? Will you watch it in the future? 

No one steps into Aisle 18 during business hours

except for the Olds, teen pregs, and bleeders

Grammy Nominees for Best New Age Album Hacky Sacking Their Way to Nirvana

We've been waiting in anticipation all year for this and now it has finally arrived: the 2010 Grammy nominees for the Best New Age Album are out! Who are these kindred spirits? Let's take a look, shall we?

1. OCEAN by Michael Brant DeMaria

CD Baby suggests you "take a journey into the ambient sounds of the ocean with psychologist and soul guide Dr. Michael DeMaria." 

Can Dr. DeMaria please be my psychologist? I will tell him all about how I want to meet my inner moon woman and let him guide my tender soul toward enlightenment at the shores of infinity with his wooden recorder. 

2. SACRED JOURNEY OF KU-KAI, VOLUME 4 by Kitaro

I want to go to to there

One big fan of Kitaro over at Music of Our Heart says, "My internal question has been magically answered as the Sacred Journey of Ku-Kai is the fourth in a series of a collection of works and peace-themed albums."

You know what internal question I want magically answered? Is if Fred Armisen can guest jam alongside us during our sacred journey to achieve front row seats at Wavy Gravy's new movie? 

3. DANCING INTO SILENCE by R. Carlos Nakai, William Eaton & Will Clipman

Dancing Into Silence is an epic album title. 

I pray each and every day for people to shut up, but no matter how hard I will it, it usually doesn't happen. I'm too polite (read: chicken) to ask anyone to stop talking or to please turn down Puddle of Mud. Therefore, I would like to be able to physically dance my way into silence. Perhaps someday I can hone such a skill.

According to Devaworld, R. Carlos plays the Native American flute, William jams on the harp guitar (WHO INVENTED THIS I WANT ONE) and Will is on "pulsing ethnic percussion."

Have you ever been ethnically pulsed or percussed?

Oh mai gad look at this fucking thing! What are you? I can't tell if you're a bad-ass sexy guitar or a gentle harp that will pull me gently into your lilypad-laden oasis of musical soundscape. You tricky beast, you!

4. MIHO: JOURNEY TO THE MOUNTAIN by Paul Winter Consort

Saxophonist Paul Winter is the master of keeping it mellow. He plays his sax like a Pied Piper, guiding us to the top of the mountain with his sonic delight. Except that when we reach the top of the mountain we don't all fall into the sea stricken with Black Plague like the children in the German fairy tale. Rather, we camp around a bonfire and let Paul unharsh our mellows with his unmitigated woodwind. 

Here is Mr. Winter's Winter Solstice that you can play when you're burning the Yuletide log on your TV screens this holiday: 

The action starts at :45

5. INSTRUMENTAL OASIS, VOL. 4 by Zamora

I have never heard of Zamora before but I am now officially obsessed with him. He is my spirit animal:

I'd like to be able to tell you more about this splendid creature but I think his album covers illustrate his sentiments better than words ever could:

Can someone out there in Internetland please Photoshop me into each of these cosmic dreamscapes? You can enjoy Zamora for yourself by visiting his page at Amazon.

Welp, this is it for me. I've just officially had the best day at work ever, thanks to my research project into the astral plain.

Congratulations to all the nominees. And PS - I wonder if any of them were part of THIS?

OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM