Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Internet Will Take The Pain Away

Like most people, you probably have a place deep inside where you go to escape the toil of daily life. A place where you can wash off the mental detritus of your day. A safe place, if you will. 



Perhaps you have a mantra you like to practice, or more likely, you quietly emote in the darkness and solitude of your decrepit apartment. Whatever your coping method may be, let me suggest a few places you can go to decompress and become one with your inner Banyan tree:


1) 3 IS THE MAGIC NUMBER a la SCHOOLHOUSE ROCKS


This video is such a happytimesgoodvibe that it is impossible to watch it without a) wishing you were wee in the 1970's so that this could be your Saturday morning cartoon b) humming this song ALL DAY LONG. Also, the first ever accidental Rap Group For White Hippies aka De La Soul sampled it and made a late-80s CROSSOVER JAM for the centuries.


OMMMM


2) WEEBLE-WOBBLES


Wait are you serious? You don't have a family of Weeble-Wobbles lining your desk/windowsill/car dashboard? I guess you don't enjoy JOY. Their slogan is the most inspirational sentence in human history: "WEEBLES WOBBLE BUT THEY DON'T FALL DOWN." HELL-O AND THANK YOU, Hasbro marketing team.

Whenever I get harshed out first thing in the morning by the stench wafting from my neighbor's piles of HOARDED GARBAGE, I look at myself in the mirror and say, "Aviva, you may weeble and you may wobble, but in this lifetime girlfriend, you will never fall down." Then I snap in a Z-formation, put on my gas mask, get into my Weehicle and drive to work at the Wegetable Stand. Let's all move to Weebleville and attend Saturday night Barn Dances.


OM MANI PADME HU


3) A BUNCHA HIPPIES IN AN ETHNIC POTPOURRI KNOWN AS 'THAT COCA-COLA CHRISTMAS TREE COMMERCIAL'

It's hard to see, but those hippies are not only in a Rachel Getting Married-esque multi-culti melting pot of love, they are actually pretty HOT. But most importantly, they are singing a beautiful song that harkens the sentiment of our great nation in the seventies, when we were healing ourselves from a pointless war in Iraq Vietnam and learning to love each other (racially) just a little bit more each day.


AUM SHANTI SHANTI


for PM Lawn (mower)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

BROACHELLA

FUDDDGGGGEEEEEE

I just posted my Coachella trip with links and tales and photos and gossip and celebrities and fashion and everything... and somehow it disappeared.

Should I kill this blog before I kill myself? It's so rare I have time these days to sit here and entertain you guys.

GRUNT!

I'll try try try to do it all over again, but just know that my best work* comes when I write fast and don't think about what I'm doing, so my re-post might quite possibly stink.


Aviva

*of course by "work" I am referring to this blog, which is a masterpiece of theoretical complexities

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Coachella


FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: I got to the bottom of DIE ANTWOORD's hair situations. Exclusive photos of Yo-Landi and Ninja and an interview with those responsible for the South African Hillbilly look can be seen HERE.


Sooooo..... who else is going to be in the desert this weekend? I'll be shooting fashion and celebrity photos for work when I'm not screaming for Jay-Z, Phoenix, Major Lazer, xx, White Rabbits, Charlotte Gainesbourg, Miike Snow, Die Antwoord, Girls, Julian Casablancas, The Specials, La Roux and Yeasayer. I'm NOT psyched about an outdoor music festival for 3 days, but I am VERY VERY psyched about staying in Palm Springs two weekends in a row.

Speaking of, Lenski and I had a joint birthday party in Palm Springs this weekend. Highlights: 

- Many, many naked people in a pool (not me)
- Lots of beautiful, gorgeous girls in bikinis
- An impromptu Vogue Italia photo shoot, McQueen dresses and Prada shoes with built-in lingerie 
- DIY Bloody Marys at the Ace hotel (as well as gay, oily bohunks having a big gay dance party around the pool to celebrate WHITE WEEKEND)
- Spa at the Viceroy, lemonade vodkas on the veranda (we got kind of honkey)
- Dinner at The Parker Hotel, the grounds of which were AMAZING.
- A Polka/accorddion cover of Outkast's Hey Yeah
- Daniel's dog aka JEFFREY DAHMER first humped, then ate a giant teddy bear. Teddy bear guts all over the pool area, soaking and glistening under the moonlight. Pretty gruesome scene.
- Thrifting and architecture I could DIE for
- Sun, mountains, stars, fresh air, and palm trees that are so beautiful it makes me resent the rest of the country

Once I round up all the photos I'll blog em up. Meantime, here are the Coachella parties. If you'll be at any of these HOLLERRRRR...




All 3 days at the Music Lounge (DJs) http://www.musicloungeindioasis.com/


FRIDAY

Music Loves Fashion
Pool Party 9AM - 7PM
Grand Ballroom Event 10PM - 6AM
Riveria Resort & Spa
1600 North Indian Canyon Drive
Palm Springs CA 92261

Coachella Oasis
Oasis Friends & Family Pool Party 12-5PM
"Under the Stars" 11PM-4AM


SATURDAY
VICE Magazine Party
10pm-2am
Cougars Bar & Nightclub
74360 Hwy 111

Music Loves Fashion
Pool Party 9AM - 7PM
10Oak Presents Don't Tell My Booker! 10PM - 6AM
Riveria Resort & Spa
1600 North Indian Canyon Drive
Palm Springs CA 92261

Lacoste at Coachella
12 - 6PM
Walking distance of the Polo Field


Coachella Oasis
Dipdive Oasis Pool Party 12-5PM
Dipdive Oasis & Blackberry Presents Dipdive Nights 11PM-4AM

SUNDAY

Music Loves Fashion
Pool Party 9AM - 7PM
Riveria Resort & Spa
1600 North Indian Canyon Drive
Palm Springs CA 92261

Lacoste at Coachella
12 - 6PM
Walking distance of the Polo Field

Coachella Oasis
Pool Party at the Oasis 12-5PM


Monday, April 12, 2010

Its muh birthday

Thanks to all you pals out there sending me gifts cards messages FB posts tweets etc. I love all of you and had NO IDEA you cared about me, especially since I'm basically 45 years old today. I joined Curves and ordered the box set of Married With Children since I should probably start looking to Peg Bundy for fashion tips and sexy hair styles.*

A special shout out to my very best friend Tasha for this little photo montage and the lunch from M Cafe (she ordered it from New York, which is sort of romantic?)



I love you guys, and thanks for all the GOOD VIBES!!!

xo
Aviva

*lie

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Roundup

Hey! I miss you guys.Where you been? How are you? Why don't we start chatting in the comments section again? These are happy, happy times and I feel like we need to bro down about it a little. I have a new job that I LOVE, but I haven't had any personal time to blog, write for Huffington or StreetCarnage, or do anything interesting really.

I miss writing, but when you sit in front of a computer all day its hard to come home at night and do it some more. I prefer to have a glass of wine in my backyard with my friends before 7pm. My house is never empty, ever! On the weekends I want to be outside in the sun. At night I want to be laughing and kissing and staring into someone (in particular's) face who has very pleasant bone structure and an acute ability to make brilliant observations about very unremarkable things. The very last way I want to spend my time is hanging out with my computer. But not tonight motherfuckers!



Meantime, I did some stuff last month. In San Francisco I met up with Jerry and April at the Opening Ceremony party to celebrate the launch of their collaboration with Levi's (rad promo video). Humberto and Carol were hosting, Leo DJ'd. I see Humberto more in other cities- LA, TOKYO and SF- than I do when I'm in New York. Humberto what happened to my Chloe poster HINT HINT??


Carol


My good friend Liz (nice hair- see below)
 


Michael looking daps

Carol and Humberto requested this very cute band Wallpaper to play but the Levi's people booked everything, and whoever produced the event ended up hiring a band called Wallpaper. instead. Did you notice that Wallpaper. has a period at the end of their band name? Edgy! As it turns out, Wallpaper. is some kind of watered down R&B electro remix band from San Francisco who sing about "going big on the weekends" and dating models. They did covers of a few club hits, so it was right up Jerry's alley of course (remember when he took me to a 90s hip-hop club in downtown San Jose for serious)? Feast your eyes on the lead singer:


FEDORA ALERT FEDORA ALERT 
REMOVE PLEASE


Wallet chain, oversized collar, sunglasses at night, and a fedora. What's left? There's nothing left for him to murder.

He did these haaarrible comedy bits in between songs about subjects like Mike "The Situation." I believe he called Mike a chump, followed by "AMIRITE AMIRITE" and some very self-satisfied laughter. I am not joking here. HE'S REALLY REAL Y'ALL


cute girl


Sean aka P-Bear was there. Look at those matching facial expressions! They didn't even coordinate beforehand so I'm assuming this is an Asian thing? Anyone know about this?

After the party they took us to Bourbon & Branch in the Tenderloin. There was a private room in back, which we entered through a door disguised as a bookshelf. Push a book = OPEN SESAME. I love anything that reminds me of a hokey 80s horror comedy movie.


We went from the Hemlock to EL FAROLITO- best Mexican food in SF. Do not let anyone tell you it's Poncho Villa. El Farolito wins hands down!

And now we are magically at SXSW. 

I worked most of the time I was there except for the last night at the Levi's Fader Fort, which turned out to be the most fun. There was lots of dancing and laughing that night. Also, Budweiser. 

I probably saw 30 bands in total. Went to too many fun parties and saw too many friends to mention, but all I can tell you is that next year I'm going for exactly 3 days and I'm going to avoid 6th Street as much as possible. It's vomitous.

 
Oh nothing just watching Cherie Currie from The Runaways carve a fuckin tree into chainsaw art*

* the term "art" is being used loosely, as her piece was a denim jacket. Her creative allowances were dictated by Levi's money. Why is Levi's such a large part of my post? Levi's please send me money. I get 1200-1800 hits/day which is worth like $5.00. Thank you.

This is The Drums. Apparently all of my male friends hate them, but I swooned and danced. They have an amazing stage presence and they were dressed like tiny Morriseys, so they win.


This is Yelawolf and this dude is a STAR. He's an Alabama-style rapper from New York. Or something. I have no idea what I'm talking about. All I know is that I freaked. Genuinely freaked. Quietly, on the inside. You neeeeeeed to see him live.

BONE THUGS n HARMONY!!!

Hi Peter! Pete's one of the funniest, most curmudgeon-y guys I know. He was the most gracious host at SXSW. Let's make him friendship bracelets and send along with purple buds and Garfield bongs to:

PETUH
Fader Magazine
71 West 23rd Street
New York, NY 10010

Not 10 minutes after this photo was taken we were having an impromptu dance party that went on into the night (and by into the night I mean 11:45pm, because we're 48?). I have a personality crush on Pete's staff. Sam you adorable bearded manfish I love you! Schnipper you need your own talk show.



Moving along...

I had to go to a work function while I was there- Stereogum's showcase/party. I LOVE Stereogum and Videogum (editorial crush on Videogum) and I'm p-retty stoked that we're under the same umbrella. I actually work with a huge bunch of smart man-editors like Jeff Leeds and Alex Blagg. ANYHOW. My pals Chelsea Peretti and Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schaal performed. Afterward we went to Eugene's favorite BBQ place in Austin. I can't remember what it was called or where it was, but that shit was DELISHAASSSS. Best BBQ I've had in my life, no joke. Then I dragged them to the Fader Fort where they filmed this:


And saw these performances, among others:

Fool's Gold

NOBIGS



I rode a bike around and had business-y business meals at the Driscoll Hotel and Eddy V's Steakhouse. Went to the Four Seasons and the Diesel House for after parties. Saw Chris Roberts, who was once my assistant at Vice. I was soooo mean to him, poor thing. Now he runs Vice Records and is a real peach of a guy. So nice! HI CHRIS!!! Mostly hung with Aska, Dexter and Jeylan the whole time. We saw MUSE and went to the Green Label Sounds party which was extremely fun (HI JESSE!) and basically met 8,000 guys who offered us free sex. So kind.

The weirdest thing that happened to us was when Dex dragged us to some Smooth Jazz and R&B party at a fancy house/venue(?) where everyone was a 45-year old black man in pleated pants and silk paisley shirts from 1990. We somehow hung out with Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, which made sense since I am positive there were some lonely bongos just waiting for those two to strip down nekkid, do some newd yoga and let their frank-n-beans hang out on the carpet while they bongo'd. Honestly WHAT THE FUUUUUCK. PS- lots of cheesy cocktails and many, many candelabras everywhere.

Anyhow, sorry I don't have more pics of cute girls wearing cute clothes, celebrities, or pals. To make up for it, here are some photos of my gorgeous, sweet little niece Lindsey who let me stay at her place while I was there:

 Thanks Linds! See you on Uncle Herb's boat this summer!


Love you,

Veevers

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My Guide to the Internet




I wrote something for your entertainment for Buzznet this week. IT IS A PRETTY SOPHISTICATED INTELLECTUAL ENDEAVOR for you bookish hermits out there.







Thursday, April 1, 2010

From the Inbox

Steve Lee says...

Yes, Yes, Yes
Works of Art by Parra

1 April – 30 April 2010

Opening reception
Thursday 1 April 2010
19:00 – 23:00 PST

Project Space
603 North La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles CA 90036


Ako says...

yoooo vans is giving us 250 beers. come help us drink them! we are gonna be there from 9 to 2 lets take it over early!
free beer! party! woooowwwwoooo!


flyer by jerry





I'm going to a BBQ tomorrow night and the beach the rest of the weekend. There are some art faggy movies involved and some serious hand-holding/eye-gazing in store for me. If you are in LA and we are bros and you want to be involved in any of these options (except the hand-holding, as I would imagine that would be gross?) then please do holler at me. IM TALKING TO YOU TIM BARBER CHANGE YOUR FLIGHT. ZUMA'S DOLPHINS ARE CALLING!

Let's make it nice. Spring is here!

xx