A friend and I actually walked into the most crowded Starbucks in New York City (the one directly south of the Winter Garden Theatre in Times Square) and ordered the following which is a legitimate drink order that they were obliged to make (AND I gave my initials as "BS" and she gave her initials as "EZ"):
I ordered:
A grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of splenda, oh and put that in a venti cup and fill up the "room" with extra whipped cream with carmel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.
She ordered:
5 shot venti, 2/5th decaf, ristretto shot, 1pump Vanilla, 1pump Hazelnut, breve,1 sugar in the raw, with whip, carmel drizzle on top, free poured, 4 pump mocha.
Did you die 350 times laughing? I MEAN...
Now weep for the victims of these pretentious, self-righteous honkeys who unleashed their misdirected anger about the integrity of their coffee beans upon people who make $9.25/hr. working for Starbucks. As if that's not harsh enough.
If you want a happy ending, we can all hold hands, close our eyes, and pray that these (hilarious) folks will place the exact same orders at THIS CAFE THAT IS SO FAR UP ITS OWN ASS IT TASTES LIKE YUPPIE TURDS.
xx
4 comments:
first sentence:
"Let's be honest: who hasn't wanted a deliciously crafted cup of coffee while stopping for a pair of designer sneakers on their way to the dog run?"
UGH. NY is turning into SF big time
HAHAHA THOSE ORDERS.
"SO FAR UP ITS OWN ASS IT TASTES LIKE YUPPIE TURDS"
you are a poet Veevers
I mean there's so much insanity to dissect here, but I'm kind of particularly impressed by the caloric substitutions of this order. It takes a special person to think of this:
A grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of splenda, oh and put that in a venti cup and fill up the "room" with extra whipped cream with carmel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.
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