I know some of you may be disappointed to see me return to this little sharespace we call my blog with the following topic, but did anyone else catch the last episode of The Real Tampons of New Cray Cray?
HOW DO THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE?
I actually have a theory. I think the producers have someone on the inside who works in regional management at Rite Aid. Someone who can get them into the back doors after hours at any of the pharmacies in the affluent areas in which they film.
To initiate the casting process, Rite Aid's R.M. lets the producers of the show into the pharmacy at wee hours to check out the prescriptions and rifle through records to find out who has which mental disorder and how high their dosages are for said afflictions.
For the New Jersey edition of this franchise I think the producers also went undercover and hung out in some seedy strip clubs until they were tipped off about which families were in the outer rings of THE JERSEY MAFIA.
I'm sorry but Teresa's husband has definitely killed someone. So has Caroline's brother, but probably a long time ago. They're too quiet. How ready are they to off Danielle Staub? Like, soon as Andy Cohen pulls the plug on the Jersey show she is kaput.
But before we talk Danielle, can I just say how much I love Teresa? She is the only reason to watch the show. I love that crazy wingnut and her spoilt posse of pink satin doilies she calls kids. She's a good wife, funny as shit, and I'm pretty sure she has created her own sartorial genre for her children that no couturier could ever envision. It's BEYOND innovative.
Now. Danielle.
Oh what's that? You have better things to do than slob out on the couch in a furniture-polish scented haven eating guacamole for dinner and wondering if you had made better decisions in your life you could have potentially won Top Chef by now? Well let me introduce you. To give you an idea who Danielle Staub is, here is a quote from Life & Style via the Huffington Post:
Danielle is not only known for her vicious catfights on-screen but also for her sex tape scandal, prostitution allegations, link to drugs and legal battles with other cast mates.
Her face looks like it has absorbed the last 10,000 years of human tragedy and OH MY GOD BRAVO OWNS ME AND ANDY COHEN IS MY BOSS. Its so bad I even stick around for the Watch What Happens live after show and wait for his "Mazel." Before you judge - he just Mazel'd our newest American Hero, Steven Slater and his WWH guests have included Kelly Ripa, Anderson Cooper, Barney Frank and Kathy Griffin and Rachel Dratch. Whatever. I can't even surf past Olbermann without raging out on what is really going down. This is easier for me.
Thanks, television. My priorities fucked up.
I actually have a theory. I think the producers have someone on the inside who works in regional management at Rite Aid. Someone who can get them into the back doors after hours at any of the pharmacies in the affluent areas in which they film.
To initiate the casting process, Rite Aid's R.M. lets the producers of the show into the pharmacy at wee hours to check out the prescriptions and rifle through records to find out who has which mental disorder and how high their dosages are for said afflictions.
For the New Jersey edition of this franchise I think the producers also went undercover and hung out in some seedy strip clubs until they were tipped off about which families were in the outer rings of THE JERSEY MAFIA.
I'm sorry but Teresa's husband has definitely killed someone. So has Caroline's brother, but probably a long time ago. They're too quiet. How ready are they to off Danielle Staub? Like, soon as Andy Cohen pulls the plug on the Jersey show she is kaput.
But before we talk Danielle, can I just say how much I love Teresa? She is the only reason to watch the show. I love that crazy wingnut and her spoilt posse of pink satin doilies she calls kids. She's a good wife, funny as shit, and I'm pretty sure she has created her own sartorial genre for her children that no couturier could ever envision. It's BEYOND innovative.
Now. Danielle.
Oh what's that? You have better things to do than slob out on the couch in a furniture-polish scented haven eating guacamole for dinner and wondering if you had made better decisions in your life you could have potentially won Top Chef by now? Well let me introduce you. To give you an idea who Danielle Staub is, here is a quote from Life & Style via the Huffington Post:
Danielle is not only known for her vicious catfights on-screen but also for her sex tape scandal, prostitution allegations, link to drugs and legal battles with other cast mates.
Her face looks like it has absorbed the last 10,000 years of human tragedy and OH MY GOD BRAVO OWNS ME AND ANDY COHEN IS MY BOSS. Its so bad I even stick around for the Watch What Happens live after show and wait for his "Mazel." Before you judge - he just Mazel'd our newest American Hero, Steven Slater and his WWH guests have included Kelly Ripa, Anderson Cooper, Barney Frank and Kathy Griffin and Rachel Dratch. Whatever. I can't even surf past Olbermann without raging out on what is really going down. This is easier for me.
Thanks, television. My priorities fucked up.
4 comments:
Danielle has total ham game face.
Best post ever. Danielle is rock lobster batshit gaga crazy, and I feel bad for her kids, who obvs know it, too.
The one kid that's a model knows she's going to have to scrape her mom off of the hull soon enough if she wants to be marketable... that's going to be one epic throwdown, for sure. And the other kid, oof... poor thing.
And Teresa! Her hubby surely is "well-connected," he's totally got that "I will wrap you in plastic and toss you in the Hudson" look about him. How the fuck do you overspend by $11 million?? He must have a pile of money buried in the backyard somewhere, right??
And her kids... wow. I hate to say that her kids are kinda rough looking but wow, they definitely inherited their father's no neck/troll looks. And the outfits! I bet each one of the kids has their own closet dedicated to nothing but those heinous hair bows Teresa slaps in their hair.
The show totally brings out my crackish tendencies, for sure... so bummed it's almost over for the season.
'the real tampons of new cray cray' just made me laugh so hard that i think i just peed a little.
the real tampons is maybe the worst example but for years i've wondered who in the FUCK these people are. i have never in my life met anybody who is as much of a crazy douchebag as the inhabitants of these shows. maybe i'm just lucky.
good post. i miss your blog entries. reading your twitter stuff makes me feel like a dork.
Veevers, here is a little something for you and your readers...don't know if you saw this yet...
http://www.wpix.com/news/local/wpix-danielle-staub-performs-on-morning-news,0,1780376.story
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