Giggles

I'm performing with John Roberts at The Pit on 29th St at 11pm tonight in the beautiful garment district of Manhattan. Comedy! Come if you can!

THE PIT

ps- Obsessed with this Major Lazer video

xo
Aviva

Sundays with Nick of Tim

by Nate Turbow

NEW YORK

I'll be here all day looking at guys' legs:

Boner Killers, Las Vegas Edition

Sensual...Titillating...Provocative...
Enthralling...Passionate...Alluring...

These words should be stricken from the language, but we can't remove them because Las Vegas would have no adjectives left to describe it's aspirations. Sadspirations. Have I ever told you what a bad mood Vegas puts me in? I don't gamble, I hate looking at fat butts, and aside from the pretty lights the entire city makes my soul cranky.

I had a long layover on my way to New York and was dreading the fact that I had to sit in a giant aviary with a bunch of soup-scented whores, spendy tourists and nondescript fats for four hours. I know I sound like a fucking JAP but it's true.

There are only three things I like about Vegas:

1) THE NUG

I lovelovelovetyloooove those Hawaiian grandpas in red polyester suits who play Elvis covers with Ukes at the Golden Nugget in Old Town. All the locals and seedy sads from the desert gamble there. If you have the misfortune of working in retail, magazine ad sales, or streetwear (barf) and are forced to go to Magic and other embarrassingly similar trade shows, take a break and go to troll the Nugget for these aging gems before they all die. It's a culture that's Meth-ing away from us and we need to capture them in real life to enjoy their legacy of over doing everything until you look like that thing that falls off babies' pupicks.

2) THE STRIPPERS

I mean duh, they're the best built women in the world of stripping. It's just fascinating to watch, despite everything that comes along with such a profession. Too cliche to talk about.

3) LOTUS OF SIAM

It's a $56. RT cab fare from the airport, but totally worth it if you're into Thai food. Every time I go to Vegas I eat there. It's in an old strip mall between a wig shop and a super boring Korean Karaoke place (honestly, there is zero vibe in there and it's weirdly expensive). You probably don't care as much as me, but this amazing couple own it and they send their key staff (all Thais) to Germany once a year to learn about the Reislings they serve. Job perk much?

I didn't get to Lotus of Siam. Instead I had an $80. well-done flavorless burger at Mandalay Bay (includes RT cab fare and two packets of Advil). Never EVER doing that again.

Don't worry it has a happy ending: the entire oiled, basted, and glistening cast of Sunset Tan was on my flight to Vegas! It gave me the same thrill as when I saw Christian Audigier himself at the top of Runyon Canyon. It's like actually seeing Bloody Mary in the mirror after summoning her from the scorching brimstone of the underworld.

Speaking of, what fresh hell is this?

Feel bad 'cause Jeff and Devon seem like such nice guys, but LOOK AT THAT WHITE CROTCH-STITCHING.

The Ollie Girls are dumb as doorknobs. And no I'm not saying that because I'm just jealous like their moms told them. They're a couple of morons.

And now I'm in New York. As Sunset Jeff would say, "LET'S FUCKING PARTY!!!"

xo
Veevers

The Care Bear Stare

Carrie, my favorite story-telling homefry and one-time neighbor had a launch party for her Kentshire pop-up shop inside Opening Ceremony. The next day we hung w our favorite funnyman big giant Jay Johnston then went to Sean's Trivia Night at Malo. I have a WHOLE big old thing about Trivia Night that I'll post soon. It's the best.

Oh look a pool party in LA, shocker.

Officer Jay

Carrie had a great event. See it HERE. (I'm the chick with the yellow shirt, very important). Kentshire is her family's business and she has a counter at Bergdorf's. Lenski, John Roberts and I all went up there at Christmastime to check it out on our way to Rockefeller and we met her mom who Carrie looks like exactly. Their stuff is beautiful, you should tell your boyfriends to buy you some stuffs from her store. It took me a minute but I found pics of her New York launch party on Athena's site HERE.

I'm in NYC shooting a project for Fred Segal this week that I'm all excited about. Holler if you want to hang. And by hang I mean gaze into each others eyes for long, silent periods, until we both weep with fear and joy that we've finally touched souls.

Toodles
xx

Sundays with Nick of Tim

by Nate Turbow

1st Draft Movie Lines

Who is playing this game on Twitter? I'm obsessed. If you don't know what movies these are from you need a memo. Here are a few I made up:


"Luke, I am your Soulmate."

"Dude, where's my segway?"

"You talking to me? You talking to me or the guy behind me? Cause I don't want to be THAT guy."

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some bialys and a nice Seltzer."

You guys have any?

xo
Veevers

Boner Killers

Hi pals-

Remember when that dude you were totally in love with casually mentioned his favorite song was "Viva La White Girl" by Gym Class Heroes and you immediately deleted his number from your phone, ran home and took a scalding hot shame shower? That's called a Boner Killer and we're sure that (because life is a cesspool of disappointment) you've experienced at least 20 others just this year. Boner Killers come in the form of girlfriends, bosses, dates, declarations, words n sentences, advice, roommates, pals, bad butts, and of course SHOES. Pretty much anywhere anyone anything that has made your soul cry for someone is a boner killer.

Yasi and I are finally finishing the big book of dealbreakers and we need some inspiration from our friends. Need more stories and ideas. Don't worry about how it's written- we'll take care of that. Tell us about them. Let's group hug.

Send all your tales to BONERKILLERS@GMAIL.COM
For some of my past Boner Killers please refer to Street Carnage* or the current issue of FRANK 151

xo
Veevers

* Gavin edited some of what I wrote so there are things in there a lady would never. For instance, I would never shit in Christian Audigier's eyes while horking down on pizza at an outdoor cafe. I would, however, trip him as he walked past.

RIP DASH

Such a sad day. Feel sick in my stomach. Today please send your love wishes and prayers to Dash's family. I just can't believe it. For those of you who didn't know Dash, he was one of the sweetest people on earth.

Wild and free:

NY TIMES

Claudia put together some nice photos of his work and life:

DASH SNOW RIP

If you want to read about Dash, here is the infamous NY MAG article.

Love love. My heart goes out to everyone back in New York who is suffering today. We'll miss you buddy.

Sundays with Nick of Tim

by Nate Turbow

Havin boobs is like, awesome

Lizzie just turned me onto yet ANOTHER chick surf punk 80s vibe. Best video set and band look ever:


Mika Miko new band crush.

Off the grid

Elizabeth Spiridakis aka White Lightning has been here all week and I haven't had much time to write anything. I'm becoming nocturnal. Haven't been to gym. Still freelancing and really just kind of miss sitting in an office. Must look for work. I'll send out a few resumes. Will probably get hired as a junior writer for Conan, writing jokes for his monologue. Maybe a few sketches. Will apply tomorrow. Demetri made $12K/mo his first year. And the head writers- glass houses in the hills people! It's hard work sitting at a table full of smart assholes ripping the news apart and coming up with absurdist bits... a coveted and impossible position.

If I don't get hired by Chelsea, Conan, or Jimmy this week I'll have to consider other temporary options. Maybe I should try house cleaning. I'm already anally retentive about the cleanliness of my own home. I bleach the bathroom door handle on both sides after I throw parties. I even clean the handle on the toilet so as to avoid indirectly touching people's privates. I mean, everyone touches the handle and the door right after a pee and lord knows if they've actually washed their hands afterward. People are pigs, especially men. They DO NOT I repeat DO NOT wash their penis hands after going wee in a bar. If they did, their surrounding bathroom brethren would shoot them a unified dude-you're-a-pussy look and shake their heads in collective disappointment. And then they touch us and kiss our cheeks and pass us drinks! With their penis hands! No thanks. I mean, I forget about it until I remember, but every time it crosses my mind it makes me want to take a bath in Epsom salt and cry like Glenn Close in the Big Chill. GROSS!

This post degenerated quickly. Moving along.

Maybe I could work as a bagger at Ralph's on Sunset. This way I'll be sure to run into people I know while I'm out on the floor, thus killing both my financial and social birds with one stone. I've also considered telling people their future. I'm not good at lying or manipulating* but I am good at giving advice. I genuinely like helping other people out. Not like moving or going to the airport help. More like listening to their inadequacies and telling them to essentially sort it out while secretly judging them kind of help. Shall open a storefront on Hollywood and Cahuenga with a neon sign in the window that reads Psychic Warlock Inside.

For now it's back to the lab. Hope everyone's enjoying summer. Sorry will be back soon! I love you guys!

PS- are you addicted to Alexi's site yet? It's so hot. I mean that in a sexual way. Funny, ridiculous, honest, and original. She doesn't like people who lean against walls. Amazing, right? A guy who leans against walls without warrant is most likely a complete jagov. Waiting for a bus for more than 10 minutes or catching a breathe during a morning jog is okay, but otherwise you're posing for invisible cameras and we're all noticing. NAGL.

Back to Alexi. We've had two lunches in two weeks and I've found that she's good times bananas. Wish more girls were off their rocker about life- just having fun and being nice to people for no good reason. Being bananas is really the only way to live. Can't deal with boring.

xx
Veevers

* manipulative lie

Sundays with Nick of Tim

by Nate Turbow

Happy 4th

from John & Drea

Dark brains

Dark things coax my noodle and calm me down. Being slowly scared instead of gratuitously terrorized absolutely thrills me. Pennywise doesn't have jack on Pencilface.

Sunshine Bob

Pencilface

thx Johnny xx