Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
93 2nd Ave (between 5th & 6th Sts, 2nd Ave stop on the F), NYC, NY.
|Fuse is proud to present:|
Curated by Tim Barber
A Milk Gallery Project
Opening reception: 7 - 10 PM, June 2nd
Exhibition dates: June 2nd - 13th
450 WEST 15TH STREET
Yeah, I know the alignment and spacing is all fucked up. How much HTML do I need to use to convince you that these shows will be awesome?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Remember when I used to bartend Andrew Kuo and Wildman's Monday night HUGS party at LIT??? Well I do. I have seen the best and worst of all your favorite fuckups in that bar, from the biggest stars to the tiniest social climbers in all the great land of Downtown and let me tell you it wasn't pretty. Funny, fun, even awesome... but not pretty. That's what happens when you stick millions of people on an island and tell them to go make it in the world. They go bananas. Anyhow, Kuo is all up in my life this week with a very special guest appearance at the Cha Cha lounge this Thursday!!!
I'm p-retty excited that he will be DJing with Ako and Cassie at the Cha! Please come. I'll be the one sitting in the corner judging people, and genuinely enjoying myself while doing so. Here are some pictures of my HUGS days past...
Dave took over my shift when I stopped tending the bar. And by Dave I mean Dave Grohl. Look at this ringer!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Silent Movie Theatre at 730pm
611 N. Fairfax Ave Cost: $10
AsDSSka Record Release Party at 7pm
Family Bookstore on Fairfax
AsDSSka live in-store set backed by The Ladies Choir (14 babes, basically)
Screening of video directed by Crystal Moselle and Spike Jonze
Please Join Us!
Outdoor screening of Dazed & Confused at 7pm Beer, blankets, bikes, food
Trivia Night at Malo Har Mar and Chris Holmes' at 10pm Special Guests Amazing Baby (best band ever)
I'll be in Malibu relaxing poolside with my ninjas (see example above)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Ford's new marketing campaign for the Fiesta consists of getting a bunch of decent-looking kids to drive their car for 6 months and blog about how it works wonders in their presumably cool, fun lives. Let's take a look at some of the "agents" they've given free cars to:
Some chick named Jill wants to get on the Jimmy Fallon show by TWITTERING her way on. She has created a YouTube video, pleaing for the internet to collectively tweet at Jimmy to put her on the show to promote her god damn stupid Ford Fiesta blog. Sounds reasonable.
Being that Jimmy is in the early stages of becoming an American icon along with other late nighters like Jay, Conan, and Dave, my guess is that Jimmy's Twitter account is monitored for appropriate behavior and non-disclosures about the show by NBC harder than Mumia Abu Jamal's FBI files.
My other guess is that since Jimmy has 991,689 followers and he only follows 100 personal friends, he's most likely not reading his @tweets from the nearly million people who could potentially send him kudos, jeers, love notes, links, or any other kind of message. I came to these conclusions using simple math involving ratios.
My final, final guess is that no talent booker at a late night show would accord an absolutely random, hired blogger to appear on their show to promote a car company. But Jill (who is very pretty and seems nice, if not for the missing frontal lobe of her brain) believes otherwise. Let's take a look at her pitch, shall we?
Oh my god they have so much in common! They both live in New York and they both LOVE Twitter! You know what Jill? You're right. What more could we ask for? Well I'll tell you. We could ask for a five minute conversation about your car blog to be streamed into our bedrooms at 12:30am. Riveting.
Jill from Astoria's contractual obligation to "lifestream" (gagbarf) her Ford-delegated missions, if done properly, will sell at least no cars! Her first mission is to take someone to the ocean who has never been and take pictures of it. Nebraskan babies, watch your backs and your mothers' backs. There's a hellcat a-tearing through town soon whose gonna show you a little somethin' called LIFE.
Here it is:
JILL'S JENIUS PROFILE
Well Jill, thanks for your pitch. You've come to the right place. We are a powerful bunch, us Interneters. Asking us to take 14 seconds of our lives to Twitter @JimmyFallon to see if a collective push will get you on the televisions is a fun task-slash-favor and will obviously result in success. I mean, that's how it works, right? Don't worry about all the musicians, actors, authors, and people who have worked their buns off for a little bit of success. No no, it's all about YOU girl! We GOTCH you. Fingers crossed!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
There is a new Freaks & Geeks on the television and it is called GLEE. The pilot just aired and its ruling my world right now. There are sweet jams from my childhood woven into the plot and one of the main characters is named Finn, just like my very first boyfriend in high school. I lost my v to Finn. I wonder whatever happened to him. Oh, he's probably frying in hell after dumping me for one of my best friends Terra (who I heard was a fat divorced lesbian with three kids nohardfeelings).
Anyhoo, so far GLEE has a near-perfect script and the casting is genius. SPOILER: there is a teacher-touching-student joke, a teacher-dealing-drugs joke, and a teacher-blackmailng-student-with-drugs joke. Not bad for network TV.
There is a Reese-Witherspoon-in-Election type whose role, I'm pretty sure, is being played by a 33-year old actress. Wait.. just checked, she's 23. Anyhow. There is a hot-under-those-glasses, wheelchair-bound kid and a teacher with crippling germophobia. There is a filetmignon gayby who wears Marc Jacobs Collection and sings like a chick, and a stuttering Asian goth-punk Fruit (she's 100% American). Most important, Jane Lynch is the cheerleading coach:
Thank you televisions, GLEE will make grannies clutch their pearls across the nation.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE PILOT
PS - FUCK YOU Finn and Terra! I cried my way through junior year because of you, you jerks!